But the fact that the elements of an easier term were in place and yet it didn\u2019t materialize points to the thing we know in our bones\u2014that the cumulative effect of the past two-and-a-bit years is enormous.\u00a0 For most of the past term I had the mental acuity of someone trying to walk through molasses. I was floundering before the Supreme Court leak, the mass shootings, the climate catastrophes, or this round of inflation.\u00a0 I stripped away every responsibility I didn\u2019t absolutely have to perform at any given moment, having lost the ability to plan more than an afternoon ahead, and still felt like I was drowning too often. The volume of things that needed my attention often felt beyond me, even if it was something as small as replying to an email. And for the last two weeks of class I was sick, and so caught up in just putting one foot in front of the other that I never considered coming to a halt.<\/p>\n There have been moments of incredible joy scattered throughout this academic year, and I met and talked with and learned from so many people. I think we\u2019ve all become old hands, by now, at stringing those pearls together and appreciating the heck of them precisely because so much else is a grind. But we can\u2019t keep going like this. We can\u2019t keep pushing through as if it\u2019s 2019 but with masks (if we\u2019re lucky). I think of the people who teach year-round, and\/or who are contingent, and\/or who are drowning in debt, and\/or who don\u2019t get to take time off during the summer, and I worry, deeply, for every single one.<\/p>\n I\u2019m working on a project that I dearly hope will come to fruition to pull together some of the people in higher ed who shine so brightly in this foggy moment, all working to think up solutions to these problems. Big solutions \u2013 not \u2018limit your email hours\u2019 (although that\u2019s important!) but \u2018change what working looks like\u2019 solutions. I have no doubt there are many other people engaged in that work, too, who are digging in their heels and saying no<\/em> with their whole selves and insisting that we do better in ways large and small.\u00a0 We need this \u2013 we need that \u2018no\u2019 from everyone who has the security to say it, because so many people don\u2019t.\u00a0 And we are going to work ourselves into an even deeper health crisis than we\u2019re in if the whole of higher ed doesn\u2019t figure this out.<\/p>\n I\u2019m not sure how to finish this, except to say \u2018I see you\u2019 to everyone else who\u2019s struggled and worried and persisted, and I dearly hope there is some rest for you ahead. Please remember that trauma\u2014and the last two years have been defined by protracted, rolling trauma\u2014is something that shows up in the body and not just the mind.\u00a0 Feed that body every bit of rest you can, whether it\u2019s an hour or a week; find the quiet (or the noise) and the space (large or small), and the action (or the stopping) that you need. If you need an ear, let me know – I’m always so happy to listen.<\/p>\n (And ff you’d like to reflect in community with others who are processing this academic year, consider signing up for my June 15th workshop<\/a>.)<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" What to say about this academic year? This was, for me, the hardest year, and this past spring term the most difficult of the pandemic. In many ways it should have been one of the easiest: I taught in a physical classroom, sharing space with my students\u2014the modality in which I have taught the longest and am most comfortable. For most of the term, Covid numbers on campus and in my county were low, and everyone in my classes was…<\/p>\n![\"A](\"https:\/\/catherinedenial.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/pexels-julie-aagaard-1426718-scaled.jpg\")
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